The Squires

The Squires is the first episode of The Fastnesses.

Transcript

 * (Starts off with a black background.)
 * King B'rge: What have we gotten ourselves into.
 * (Cuts to a battlefield with knights and skeleton warriors battling. Corpses are littered, some stabbed by swords and spears, others are decapitated.)
 * King B'rge: I am but an awful cretin! I detested them for their appearance, and now they have their armies against mine, winning every battle they are in.
 * (A knight is sliced in half vertically by a skeleton warrior's longsword.)
 * King B'rge: I have made the worst decision in my life; I fear it may be time for the Coronet Kingdom to culminate.
 * (The Fastnesses logo appears on the screen through a scroll. Cut to a medieval neighborhood.)
 * King B'rge: Affirmative, the peasant's tribe; Amphisbaena. Recollect, my fellow knights; courtesy. Tell all the ladies they are beautiful and do not comment on the smell.
 * Sir Arnold B'rge: *Grunts* I will endeavor, brother.
 * King B'rge: Excellent! These villeins could be fellow cavalry, at some point, you all know, correct?
 * (The B'rges brothers, Sir Rex Swift, and Sir Muirenn Ó Dubhthaigh walk through the village.)
 * Villager: Hello, King B'rge, and your fellow knights.
 * King B'rge: Greetings, uh...
 * Villager: Mihill.
 * King B'rge: Ah, Mihill. Nice to meet you.
 * Mihill: Gazooks! He said my name!
 * King B'rge: (Whispering) Filthy pleb.
 * Fisher: Anyone want to try my catch?
 * Sir Arnold B'rge: (Whispering) Uh... Ant?
 * King B'rge: Sir Arnold would love some of your fish!
 * (Arnold face palms.)
 * Fisher: Good to know! (Decapitates a fish and gives it to Arnold.) Come on, Ricket won't bite!
 * (Arnold tries to swallow it in one bite, and does a fake smile.)
 * Sir Arnold B'rge: Couldn't have caught one better myself!
 * Fisher: Ah, thank you, kind sir!
 * (Arnold turns away and spits out a bone.)
 * Sir Arnold B'rge: Bleh, he didn't even cook it!
 * Sir Rex Swift: And who NAMES their fish before slaughtering them?
 * King B'rge: Now, now; remember, courtesy.
 * Sir Muirenn Ó Dubhthaigh: (Whispering) How about we just leave when grandpa isn't looking?