Reigns Pouring! (Press Start: Episode 27)

Reigns Pouring! is the twenty-seventh episode of Press Start.

The Episode
The episode starts in the middle of a field, where Miles, along with several other people are dressed up as castles, kings, knights, horses, and other medieval characters. Miles, dressed as a horse, kicks Shade, who is dressed up like a knight, in the groin

Shade: What the hell!?

Miles: Hey, I'm not the one who tried to make me eat a live rat!

Shade: You'll pay for that! FIREBALL!

Miles: You can't do that! You're a knight!

Shade: No.....I'm an arsonist!

Shade then takes out a box of matches, lights one of them and starts to chase Miles with it

Miles: Shade! I-I swear......stop!

Shade: FOR NARNIA!

Miles: AHHHH!

The camera them zooms into Sky and Pixel in the background sitting on a bench next to each other, both slouched down, rolling their eyes at Miles and Shade

Sky: Wow, I knew Shade was ridiculous, but Miles?-

Pixel: Sky, stop right there, ignorance is bliss.

Just then, Shade trips and lights his hoodie on fire

Shade: Owahahah! Hot! Hot!

Miles: And thus, the horse wins!

Shade then takes off his hoodie, still on fire and starts to chase Miles with it

Miles: Oh come on!

Sky: Can I leave now?

Pixel: Don't you wanna see how much of this field they burn down?

Sky: I'd love to, but I have more important matters to attend to.

Pixel: Oh? Since when did you get a life?

Sky: Since Dave came back, did you see how that town in Brawlhalla turned to darkness?

Pixel: Yeah, I was down there.

Sky: I think he might be trying to take over video games for his own rule.

Pixel: Or he might just be a pawn of a bigger threat?

Sky: Please, Jason wouldn't let that happen until at LEAST half way through season 3.

Pixel: Fair enough.

Pixel looks over at Shade, lighting up a patch of grass while Miles attempts to climb a tree

Pixel: Maybe we should get out of here before we get sent to jail for arson.

Sky: Yeah, those five years were enough.

Pixel: Five years?

Sky: Not now.

Pixel: Okay..... Go ahead, I'll meet up with you at your house with Miles.

Sky: Right' then.

Sky speed walks down the street after putting in his earbuds and starting to listen to "Thunder" by Imagine Dragons

Pixel: Alright. Miles, get down from the tree!

Miles: No!

Pixel: I didn't want it to come to this, Miles. Sick em', boy!

Shade starts to foam at the mouth and starts barking at Miles

Miles: Ahhh! Alright, I'll come down!

Pixel: Good luck with that!

Miles: Thanks....hm....

As Pixel smugly looks at Miles, a light-bulb pops over Miles' head, a really dim light-bulb

Miles: Hey, Shade!

Shade is seen sharpening a knife

Shade: YeSSsSssSS?

Miles: I'll give you a dollar if you kick Pixel in the groin!

Pixel: I didn't sign up for this!

Shade puts on some cleats

Shade: Prepare to die, my good sir.

Pixel: Not cool, Miles!

Miles: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! Oh god....I'm turning into Shade.

Miles then climbs down the tree a books it towards Sky's house

Meanwhile, at Sky's house, Sky is seen sitting in a black leather chair by his computer, bored as hell

Sky: How long does it take to run from ONE vicious cannibal with rabies?

Then, Sky's door swings open quickly and then slams shut

Miles: Wow, Shade really knows how to work a shotgun!

Pixel: Yeah, I'm surprised I got away. All I had to do was blow up a bus-load of nuns!

Sky: You what now?

Pixel: So, whatcha' up to?

Sky: Just severely questioning you.....and studying Dave's abilities.

Miles: What do you mean studying his "abilities"?

Sky: His powers.

Miles blinks at Sky

Pixel: His superpowers.

Miles: Oh...

Sky: I've discovered that he's gained many more powers since the last time he visited us in a game.

Pixel: Like...?

Sky: Shadow Morphing.

Pixel: Which is...?

Sky: Shadow Morphing is a type of power that only a select few god-like heroes within video games can have such powers as major as shadow morphing.

Pixel: God-like heroes? Like Mario and Sonic?

Sky: Not quite, more like modern gods. Think of them as admins.

Pixel: Booooringggg.

Sky: Let me finish! The gods, such as Syparus and Infrado, gods of rendering and coding respectively, once ruled over all of video games when consoles such as the Atari and Colecovision were around.

Miles: Okay....

Sky: Everything was easy to run at that time, every video game character just wanted to get sequels, and most of the time, some of those gods seduced developers to create those sequels. But-

Pixel: Seduced?

Sky: Not like that....perv... Anyways, when next gen consoles started to come around, like the N64, characters started to get smarter, and realized that the video game world could become a democracy, soon war broke out between gods and characters.

Miles: Kinda like the Civil War?

Sky: Exactly! Millions of characters lost their lives that day, including the majority of the gods, but there are two that still remain. The only two that fought for democracy, Uparus and Xyxdia, brother and sister.

Pixel: Go on.

Sky: Their mother was a pacifist who was killed during the war, her name was Osrena. The father.....nobody knows what happened to him, his name is Moteyar. Some theorize that neither him nor Osrena died in the war, but died of old age side-by-side later in life.

Miles: That's so sweet!

Sky:....While others say that the murder of his wife was planned by Moteyar himself.

Miles: Oh dear....what happened to this all mighty Moteyar, anyways?

Sky: That's the thing, people think he may be out there.....somewhere.

Pixel: Wow....that was such a great story....that you made up!

Sky: What?

Pixel: The "all-mighty gods" of video games? Sureeeeee.

Sky: Hey, I spent a whole TWO days researching this!

Pixel: Prove it! Prove that their real!

Sky: Well......that's a tough one.....

Pixel: See, Miles, a bunch of bullcrap!

Miles: Hate to say it Sky, but that does seem a bit unlikely at the least...

Sky: Miles, we travel into video games for Christ's sake!

Miles: True...

Pixel: Don't listen to him Miles!

Miles: Sorry, dude, but I'm on Pixel's side.

Sky: .....W-whatever!

Sky sighs and sits in silence for a couple of seconds

Sky: ....Anyways! After my studying, I learned that the most likely place for Dave to invade right now is this game called "Reigns".

Miles: Nice.

Pixel: Why isn't it in your account? Wait....that's my account!

Before Sky says anything, he quickly purchases Reigns with Pixel's money

Pixel: Hey! That is MY hard earned money!

Sky: And by that you mean you stole some street musician's money while Miles distracted them?

Miles: Heh.....maybe....

Pixel: Pretty much.

Sky: Well, at least you're honest, I guess.

Miles: Well, are we gonna find Dave or what?

Pixel: Let's make this quick.

Sky clicks on Reigns, which opens up a giant portal, sending the three in

Sky and Miles both get sent into a rack of weapons, which sends a sword flying at the current king in his throne, going next to his head

King: Who dares throw their sword at me!?!

A portal opens up sending Pixel in

Miles: He did it!

Miles points towards Pixel

Pixel: Hey, I didn't do anything for once!

King: Sure you didn't...good luck on being king.

Pixel and Sky: What!?!

King: It seems that you have challenged me, yet I have not a clue how to duel. I surrender, which makes you kin-

Pixel: Don't have to tell me twice!

Pixel take the king's golden crown encrusted with rubies, puts it on his head and moves toward the throne

Miles (whispering to Sky): Some king...

Pixel quickly turns his head towards Miles as he sits down

Pixel: What was that?

Miles: NOTHING!

Pixel: No, seriously, I didn't hear yo-

Miles: AAAAAHHHH!

Miles picks up a spear and throws it right at Pixel, Pixel narrowly dodges it

Pixel: What the fuck?!

Miles: Impulse.....hatred and impulse.

Sky: Miles...maybe we should take this outside....

Pixel squints evilly at Miles with a smirk

Miles: Whatever.

Sky walks out of the room, while Miles slowy backs up, not breaking eye contact with Pixel

As Miles and Sky leave the room, they see a horde of angry people with pitch forks and torches

Sky: Uh..., what's this all about?

Blacksmith: We're starting a riot!

Jester: Yeah!

Sky: Against Pixel?

Blacksmith: Who?

Jester: Yeah!

Miles: King Pixel is his official title now.

Mother: Gerald the Terrible changed his name to Pixel?

Sky: Wait, what? No...

Blacksmith: What then?

Jester: Yeah!

Knight: Oh would you shut thy word hole!?

The rest of the group looks at the knight

Knight: I meant thy mouth......ehehehehe......

The knight quickly runs away

Sky: What was that all about?

Blacksmith: "word hole" is a slur for......er......

Blacksmith (whispering to Sky): Potatoes.....

Sky: Huh-

Blacksmith: Anyways, what were you about ta' say?

Sky: Oh, yeah. Our dorky friend named Pixel got into a fight with your King Gerald the Whatever and now Pixel is king.

Blacksmith: Aw....

Child with a Broken Leg: I was really hoping for a riot today...

The crowd walks away with a large mumbling sound

Sky: Anyways, ready to track down Dave?

Miles: Yeah, sure...

Sky: What's wrong, man?

Miles: I just...... Miles starts to get glassy eyes

Sky: .....hm?

Miles: I just really wanted to riot against Pixel!

Miles wipes his eyes

Sky: Well...uhm.....there there?

Miles: I don't need your pity.

Sky: Jesus Christ, that was unnecessary.

Miles: I know.

Sky: At least you admit it. Anyways, my recordings and research show that Dave would probably be trying to find weapons to kill us.

Miles: He isn't very polite.

Sky: Not at all......wait a minute.....the weapons rack in the castle!

Miles: We broke that when we landed on it.

Sky: Oh...

Miles: Maybe the weapon forgery?

Sky: Oh yeah.....let's go!

Cut to Pixel sitting in his throne

Pixel: I'll be honest, this is one of the most boring days of my life and I've literally watched paint dry.

Pixel sits in silence for a second or two, before an evil, yet passionate look floats into his eyes

Pixel: General!

A large General runs into the throne room, almost tripping

General: Yes, sir?

Pixel: Set war upon the place known as the "Human World".

General: But.....sir....

Pixel: Now!

General: .....How will we get there?

Pixel: Uhm.....

Pixel: Maybe this is a bad idea-

Suddenly, a shadowy figure enters Pixel. Pixel's eyes turn a dark crimson

Pixel (in a slightly deeper, scratchier voice): I don't need your help......at all.

General: What are you talking about, sir-

Before the general finishes his sentence, Pixel pulls out a gun and shoots at the general. Right before the bullet connects with the general's head, it cuts to Sky and Miles in the forgery

Miles: Well, we're here, what now?

Sky: Step one, track down Dave, step 2, kill Dave, step 3, profit.

Miles: Profit?

Sky: Some used car salesman said it to me.

Miles: Are you still in contact with Benny?

Sky: No....

Miles: Don't lie to me!

Sky: Oh wow, is that Dave over there?

Miles:Nope, not fallin' for it!

Sky: No, seriously!

Miles looks over to see Dave holding a freshly forged, boiling hot sword

Miles: Well crap.

Sky: Maybe we should go get Pixel?

Miles: Yep!

Miles and Sky run back to the castle

Miles: Pixel! It's time to get out of here!

Sky: Pixel!

Suddenly, a quick figure dashes behind Miles and Pixel and locks the castle doors

Sky: Pixel...?

Miles: Stop fucking around Pixel!

Then, a low and grim voice speaks up.....only a voice the general would have knew

Pixel: Welcome....

Miles: PIXEL! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Pixel: Take me to church.....I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies.....I'll tell you my sin and you can sharpen your knife.....

Sky: Hey, maybe you finally got a taste in music....

Finally, Pixel, with those new distinctive dark crimson eyes, swings that same hot sword that Dave had in the forgery right through Miles and Sky. They both fall without a sound. Their bodies then disintegrate into.....pixels.