User:Trigger Happy the Gremlin/Archives

Dragon Monarchy 3: Darkness Awaits

Plot line: October 6, 2006

Zelda Da Vinci gets captured by Atmosphere Pirates(pirates who fly). The Atmosphere Pirates bring her to Eyeangle. Eyeangle says he saw her wishing she could be an Atmosphere Pirate, and they will recruit her. She disagrees and says she wanted to be a good Atmosphere Pirate, not a bad one. Eyeangle tries to kill her, but she gets out her Assault Rifle. They fight over the rifle, and Eyeangles eye somehow nearly falls out. Zelda gets out her light saber and nearly cuts the eye out, but Eyeangle turns into Siameseangle who imprisons Zelds inside of him. Eyeangle curses the jungle they fought in, making it have unicorns and rainbows.

October 6, 2015

Dillon Guidesworth is going camping to Hellow with his 8 pet zombies. In order to get in, you need to bring in something mechanical. Tanner Guidesworth scowls at people messing around with Knock Out bullets. Vanessa Ingrid enters in a light saber, which goes up to the minimum number, 8/10. However, since The Killer is awake, Vanessa can not get in. Dillon enters in his robot, Siameseangle and Zombietron 3000. It goes up to 10/10, and The Killer is thrilled. The Killer lets Dillon and Tanner go in, and let them bring their RV. Dillon and Tanner watch a movie about how they brought the Ego Ligatures back to life, by drawing blood from bats to recreate them. Dillon and Tanner sleep in their RV, Dillon wondering why their is so much rain. Tanner tells him that it rains every night, but he does not know why. We cut to The Killer's lair, where he draws some battery to bring the robots back to life.

Dillon and Tanner wake up, finding Dillon's pet zombies free and the unicorn petting zoo open. Dillon pets one unicorn, but gets his arm torn off, blood gushing out. Tanner decapitates the unicorn with a piece of ice. Dillon puts his arm back on, and they explore the ruins of Hellow. Dillon calls for his 3 friends, Dumbledoor, Bot, and Jack, a wizard, a cyborg, and a pirate. They are all armed with long guns, which shoot gold balls. They create a mechanical triangle, which causes Siemeseangle to appear. They shoot Siemeseangle, who starts bleeding, which reveals he is actually a cyborg. Illuminangle and Aangle shed their eyes to get mouths and laser guns. Siemeseangle is killed, which results in the two exploding into bloody chunks of metal and hearts. Zelda is saved, and for the rest of the night, they stay in their RV and occasionally sit by their campfire to regain health. By morning, they go in an underground monster nest to look for more robots.

At the monster nest, they are attacked by skeletons, who they decapitate. They find cobalt and palladium, along with topaz, emerald, ruby, and sapphire. They also find crystals and other stuff, which they use to make light sabers. Dillon gets a green one, Dumbledoor gets a blue one, Bot gets a yellow one, and Jack gets a red one. They end up underground in a jungle, which has scary Wing-Arms and Ice Cube People. Zelda gets pricked by a Poisonous Ice Cube Person, and cannot find the antidote. She ends up dying, and continue their adventure. They end up in a giant bee hive, where they encounter King Bee. King Bee fights them, but ends up getting himself killed. They get out, with Dillon bringing buckets of honey with.

Dillon saves his pet zombies, who are under hostage by evil rabbits. Dillon decapitates the bunnies, with their head flying and hitting the screen. Dillon and Tanner agree to go to the Arctic for "fun". They get attacked by wolves, who they slap to death. It is night, and a bunch of Zombie Ice Fishermen. The zombies get shuffled, and they run away. They end finding the corpse of Lufe. They go inside through the mouth, and get attacked by Blood Drinking Spiders, Long Tongued Monsters, and Chimera. But that is not all, there are also Bleeding Fish, and Blood Sucking Jellyfish. They slay the monsters with Lightsabers. They find some hearts, which they crush with sledgehammers, knowing that Lufe's heart is dead. They end up getting golden balls for their long guns. Sadly, the corpse is collapsing. They make it out, by blowing 1/16 of the corpses up with bombs and TNT. They collect the skin, and use Zelda's flesh cloning vat. The flesh turns into cool flesh, and they build a campsite out of it. You would probably barfing your organs out by now, so I will end it like that.

They end up sleeping in their flesh built house, which has a flesh work bench, flesh chairs, a flesh door, and a flesh chandler(eew, I would pay you not to read any of this). When they wake up they go on another f*icking adventure, to Mushroom Land. They save a Truffle Shuffle, a mushroom man(Toad). Truffle Shuffle calls Dillon a jerk for saving him only to keep him in his RV and eat his children. The gang, which now has Truffle Shuffle in it, go to the Dungeon. They find the Old Man, who commits suicide by draining the blood out of his body, which summons Zombietron 3000. They cut the robot's head in half. They find out they just killed 2 of 3 robots.

In order to prepare for the hardest/easiest robot, The Killer, they will need to get help. They travel back to Cuckoo Land, to get help. They get Gobletshit, Freddy, Florence, Keenan, Zoe, Vanessa, Gimli, Poopy Pie, Alfred, and IDC. Dillon remembers they can not fight, so he says every swear word in the world. Dillon finds a hidden arsenal of weapons, and is ready to fight. They go underground into s cavern but all of Dillon's friends are captured: Dumbledoor got tied up in ropes, Bot is captured by Killer Snake, and Jack is part of the pirate army. They search for Dumbledoor and unbound him, saving him. They get out of the pit with gold ingots and rubies. Dillon makes a crown, but drops it on an ice cube, turning it into King Ice Cube. They fight King Ice Cube, but they still need to find Jack and Bot. They travel back to the RV to regroup. They use a solidify gadget to turn ice crystals into something useful. They build a room out of ice with an ice bench, ice toilets, and an ice candle. They sleep for the night for a long journey tommorow.

They wake up and go on to find Jack. It starts raining and rainbow cubes and umbrella cubes spread everywhere. The spirit of rain appears and laughs evilly at what he has done. Dillon and the rest blow up the ice cubes with hellfire bullets, causing mild explosions. The rain stops because the spirit got bored. Dillon did not realize how long it took and realizes it is 6:50 PM. They run back in and realize it is a zombie apocalypse. There are zombies appearing everywhere except their house and RV. Dillon runs in his house, but zombies break through the flesh of the meat house. Dillon runs out, tells the others to go in the RV, and Dillon fights zombies. After killing all the bloody zombies he could find, more zombies approach. One of which is a groom zombie, and another is Zombie Indiana Jones. They kill all zombies except for the groom and Indiana Jones, who they tie to a living tree. It becomes day and Dillon realizes they wasted their whole day fighting zombies and ice cubes, but Tanner says it could have been worse, as clowns you normally find in zombie apocalypses were not seen, but a clown rolls over on a ball and throws a bomb at Dillon, which would have killed him if it was not for his Mithril Hat.

The Troll Army approaches from the west, eager to kill all Cuckoo Landers. Dillon tells Tanner and the rest to go in the safety of his house, as Dillon gets out his long gun, ready to snipe Troll philosophers with golden balls one by one. Dillon kills all the trolls, leaving a mountain of giblets from the dead trolls. Dillon and the rest travel to the edge of Cuckoo Land, finding a beach. A pirate ship sails from the beach, arriving at port. Dillon kills all the pirates and saves Jack. Dillon and the rest go over to the campsite, build an arena out of platforms, and wind up a Mechanical Snake. The Killer Snake gets over to Dillon and discharges grenades at him. The grenades miss Dillon, and Dillon starts fighting the Killer. Dillon kills Killer and saves Bot. Everything is back the way it was before, and Dillon can start his vacation. But then a mysterious plant monster says it is not over yet, also saying his name is Natal.

Dillon travels underground the jungle and finds a temple. They go inside but Dillon finds out there are spike traps. They run through quickly, but Dillon unfortunately gets stabbed in the crotch by on of the spears. He starts crying because of this. They then continue going through, but spike balls fall from the ceiling. They miss all the balls, though. They then find the door in is locked, but Dillon steps on a bullet trap pressure plate and gets shot by a poisonous bullet. Red poison comes out of the bullet hole, though it could be Dillon's blood and the poison. Dillon needs to find the key into the temple. He finds the key and they get in. They find Natal, who summons a golem. They kill the golem and start fighting Natal. They kill Natal, and Cuckoo Land is restored to normal. But more awaits from Mars to Earth.